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DEAR ABBY: Marriage of comfort has grow to be incovenient

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DEAR ABBY: Eighteen years in the past, I married a person so he may get medical health insurance and have again surgical procedure. It was speculated to be short-lived. He fell in love with me and wouldn’t depart.

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He’s put me by way of hell through the years. Stage 4 tongue most cancers left him unable to work, which I didn’t have a difficulty with. Then he began consuming and bought a DUI. As a result of I used to be the only real supplier, it value me virtually $10,000.

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My husband is a whole SLOB and doesn’t care. He has a extreme sleep problem he refuses to handle. Most days, he drinks all night time and sleeps till 2 or 3 within the afternoon. I lastly moved out, however now he’s pestering me about once I’ll be again. What can I do? — TURNED THE PAGE IN ARIZONA

DEAR TURNED: Until you need extra of the identical, DO NOT GO BACK. You will have accomplished sufficient of the heavy lifting. It’s now time to focus on what is nice for YOU and what’s going to make YOU completely satisfied. Since you not wish to dwell with this particular person, seek the advice of an legal professional about the right way to extricate your self from a dysfunctional relationship, which ought to have ended as quickly as he healed from his again surgical procedure.

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 65-year-old feminine who has been divorced 15 years. I’ve no real interest in relationship. Over the past couple of years, I’ve targeted on my well being, concentrating on food regimen and train, and I’ve misplaced 50 kilos.

Earlier than I misplaced the load, males seldom observed me, which was advantageous with me. Recently, males have been me, smiling and even flirting. Though this can be a confidence booster, I don’t wish to lead anybody on.

I do know it might appear bizarre, however I’m afraid if somebody asks me out, my facial features and response may not be cordial. I don’t wish to insult anybody. I imagine if I memorize one or two well mannered, tactful responses I’ll be prepared for the second. Are you able to counsel the right way to politely flip down a person who reveals curiosity in me? — STILL NOT INTERESTED IN IOWA

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DEAR STILL NOT INTERESTED: Did your divorce depart you so disillusioned that you just’re not even fascinated about a platonic male friendship? Though I believe you’ll forestall your self from having some rewarding relationships, a well mannered technique to convey that you just’re not could be: “Thanks for the praise, however I’m off the market.”

DEAR ABBY: I want an angle adjustment. My sporty, outdoorsy, Kind A daughter, who’s in her 30s, dates males who’re (usually) wussy, milquetoast, dead-fish handshake people. She’s respectful towards them and doesn’t bully them, nor does she mom them, attempt to change them to “enhance” them.
How can I be much less essential of her selections, and the way do I reply tactfully when she asks me for my impressions of her boyfriends? — TRYING TO CHANGE

DEAR TRYING: Inform your daughter she doesn’t want your endorsement, and that if any of her suitors make her completely satisfied, you’re completely satisfied for her. Then chunk your tongue.

— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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